


Bad Kings and Bad Husbands

by thanksforthecrumb



Category: Reign (TV)
Genre: Battling Emotions, Character Study, F/M, Love, idk - Freeform, questionable decisions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-20
Updated: 2014-04-20
Packaged: 2018-01-20 04:22:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 635
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1496497
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thanksforthecrumb/pseuds/thanksforthecrumb
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Francis is unsure of his decision to lock Mary in a tower. He thinks it was the right things to do, but doing the right thing has never felt right, and this is no exception. A short character study on Francis and what he's feeling as he walks away from Mary. Some references to 1x08 (because what else).</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bad Kings and Bad Husbands

**Author's Note:**

> Fic takes place as Mary is calling Francis's name and he walks away. I loved and hated that scene. The sheer number of conflicting emotions that you could see and hear on his face and in his voice were too much for me. I had to write a character study. Sorry.

He wonders if his voice sounded to her as hers sounds to him. Was his cry that powerful, that charged? Was it loud and clear and angry, as hers was, or was it meek? He has a feeling that his was a plaintive cry, where hers was indignant and rage-filled. Did she wish she didn’t have to do it? Wish she didn’t have to ride away from him, rip his decisions out of his hands? And did she feel as he does now, walking away from everything? He is wracked with guilt and shame. And yet he knows he must do this. He _must_. Because she is still impatient, impulsive Mary. Worse, she is impatient, impulsive _Queen_ Mary. And she will do what she thinks is right. But so will he.

And yet. And yet he feels as if he’s made a terrible mistake. He knows this is right. He _feels_ it. But he doesn’t like it. He doesn’t like that he’s forced her to stay in a fucking tower. He doesn’t like that she thinks he’s the villain. Because he’s not. Or is he? He tried to do it right. He tried to do _everything_ right. And instead, he’s made a big mess of it all. He’s fucked up his country _and_ hers. He’s fucked up his marriage.

He can see her face, taut with anger, brow furrowed, her eyes accusing. He can see it without even having to see her. And it chafes at his will. It wears him down, to the point where he starts to turn on his heel. All it would take to release her…it would just be a wave of his hand, a mumbled command. He can let her go. He _should_ let her go. But he stops himself. He can’t. He can’t go back. He can’t release her. He can’t. If he lets her go to Scotland, he knows it’ll be the last time he ever sees her.

But it still hurts. Even knowing that he must do it, it still hurts. He wonders if it will ever stop hurting. Does she still hurt when she remembers the things she had to do?

He put her first. He did. But everything was so damn difficult to discern. He put her first. That’s why she’s spending a night in a fucking stone tower. That’s why he’s walking away. _He put her first_.

And yet…it doesn’t _feel_ as if he’s put her first. All he feels is her anger, her hurt, her rage at him. He is numb, struggling to take control of the jumble of emotions. All he can hear is her enraged voice. All he can see is her face, filled with anger, but also pleading. All he can think is throbbing through his mind, his body. _I put her first. I put her first. I put her first._

He has to do this. He has to stay strong for Mary’s sake. So he sits down on the tower floor, crossing his legs and covering his head with his hands, rocking gently. It will be all right. Everything will be all right. She’ll see it was his only choice. She’ll see. And maybe she won’t see, but she will understand. She will understand because she was forced to do the same thing. She will understand.

He tells himself this is the right thing to do. Because it is. Isn’t it? It _is_. He had to do it. And no one’s happy about it, but that’s fine, because no one’s dead, either.

He did the right thing. He’s _doing_ the right thing. He’s keeping her safe. He’s putting her first.

He curls his knees up to his chest and sits there, thinking, his breath clouding gray in the cold dark of the tower.

_He put her first._

**Author's Note:**

> So the f-word was used dating back to the early 16th century, so /technically/ it's okay if I use it in Reign fic. What I'd like to know is if it sounds all right. Does it sound out of place? I'd really appreciate someone's input. Thanks.
> 
> A lot of the parallels I make to 1x08 might be kind of ambiguous. Sorry. Just know when you're reading that I'm referencing when Mary took Francis's decisions out of his hands and basically pulled the plug on his life.


End file.
